Laying Down the Burden
Forgiveness may not be the act of setting another person free. It may be the discovery that love no longer wishes to build its home around the wound.
A Forgiveness Meditation
Take a moment to settle into a comfortable position. Allow the body to be supported by the chair, the cushion, or the earth beneath you. There is nowhere to go, nothing to accomplish, and nothing to fix. Simply arrive.
Notice the breath moving naturally in and out of the body. There is no need to change it or control it. Simply allow life to breathe itself through you. With each breath, allow yourself to settle a little more deeply into the present moment.
As you sit here, consider the possibility that forgiveness is not something you must force. Forgiveness is not approval. It is not forgetting. It is not pretending that pain did not happen. Forgiveness is the gentle laying down of a burden that has become too heavy to carry.
Allow someone or something to come into awareness. There is no need to search for anyone. Simply allow whatever arises to arise. It may be a person, a memory, a situation, or perhaps even a part of yourself. Whatever appears, welcome it gently into awareness.
Notice what feelings are present. Perhaps there is sadness, anger, disappointment, grief, confusion, tenderness, or longing. There is no need to change any of these feelings. There is no need to judge them. Simply allow them to be here. Let them rest within a larger field of awareness, as clouds move through an open sky.
As you breathe, see if you can offer yourself a little kindness.
May I be free from the burden of carrying this.
May I be free from the weight of resentment.
May I be free from the suffering of holding on.
May I rest in peace.
Allow these words to settle naturally into the heart. There is no need to believe them fully. There is no need to make anything happen. Simply let them be offered.
If another person is present in your awareness, gently imagine them as a fellow traveler in life. A human being carrying known and unknown burdens. A human being who has suffered. A human being who has caused suffering. A human being trying, as best they could, to find their way through this mysterious life.
And when it feels natural—not before, not because you should, but because the heart is willing—gently offer:
May you be free from suffering.
May you awaken to wisdom.
May you know peace.
May we both be released from what has been carried.
If resistance arises, let that be welcome too. Forgiveness cannot be forced. Sometimes forgiveness begins simply by allowing ourselves to acknowledge the pain. Sometimes it begins by becoming willing to let healing enter places that have long remained closed.
Rest now in silence for a few moments. Simply breathing. Simply allowing. Simply being present with whatever is here.
Perhaps you begin to notice that forgiveness is not an act of will. It is not something we manufacture. It is a softening. A loosening. A gradual release of what no longer needs to be carried.
The past remains the past. What happened remains what happened. Yet the heart discovers that it no longer wishes to build its home around the wound.
And so, with gratitude for whatever has unfolded during this time together, gently return your awareness to the room around you. Feel the body. Feel the breath. Feel the support beneath you.
Carry forward only what is needed.
Leave the rest behind.
And as you continue with your day, may you remember that forgiveness is not the denial of pain.
It is the decision to no longer carry it alone.
Nigel Lott teaandzen.org
Meditation Sans Frontieres 501 (C) 3 Non Profit Registered Charity TAX EIN 81-3411835
May the work offered here serve peace, serve healing, serve remembrance, and serve the quiet dignity of being alive. May this sanctuary belong not to one person alone, but to the field of life itself.
And may all who encounter it feel, even for a moment, that nothing is missing and they are not alone.
TEA AND ZEN