Where Your Soul Can Be Heard

Not every person is able to receive every part of who you are.

That is not a criticism of them. It is simply a recognition of reality.

Every person has their own capacity for listening, understanding, and presence. Some can meet us in conversation. Others can meet us in grief. A few can accompany us into the deepest places of the heart. None of us can be everything for everyone.

The suffering begins when we expect someone to offer what they simply cannot give.

If you long to speak from the deepest places of your heart, but find yourself with people who communicate in a different way, it does not necessarily mean there is something wrong with you. Nor does it mean there is something wrong with them. It may simply mean that your soul is asking for a different kind of relationship.

For many years I searched for people with whom I could speak without translating myself. People with whom I did not have to simplify what I was experiencing, soften it, or reduce it into language that others found more comfortable.

When I eventually joined a trauma group for Vietnam veterans, something unexpected happened. Although I had never served in Vietnam, I found people who understood the language of deep pain, survival, and healing. For the first time in a long while, I experienced something profoundly human: I belonged. I did not have to perform. I did not have to edit myself. I could simply be present.

There is an immense freedom in finding people who can meet you where you truly are.

This does not mean we stop participating in different communities. It simply means we stop asking every person—or every community—to meet every need of the heart.

Some people teach us discipline.

Some teach us friendship.

Some teach us service.

And some, by their simple presence, become sanctuaries where the soul can finally exhale.

Part of becoming whole is learning the difference.

You do not need everyone to understand you.

You only need a few people with whom your heart no longer has to whisper.